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Crazy. Contradictory. 21. Cat Lady.
I try to smile, when all I want to do is cry. :)

!Penny For Your Thoughts!

lindsaylohoean:

my ex texted me today “you can delete my number i don’t care anymore”

and i replied “who is this”

image

(via damn-funny)

vandigo:

orgasham:

methlemore:

orgasham:

masturbating-to-your-selfies:

102 chicken nuggets

why would you order 17 of 6 instead of 5 of 20… that shit’s expensive as hell

Getting 2 four pieces is cheaper then 1 6 piece know your nuggets

but getting 1 20 piece is cheaper than 3 6 pieces KNOW YOUR NUGGETS

this is how word problems for math books are started, isn’t it.

(Source: charitzard, via orgasmic-humor)

babyferaligator:

nasturbate:

lnternetvibez:

nasturbate:

when u blaze too hard

image

ARE THEY COVERED IN KALE? omg

no that is clearly marijuana

turn up

(Source: nasturbate, via orgasmic-humor)

*Someone asks our debate coach if he spoke Spanish*
Teacher:No, I dont speak Spanish. I took Latin in high school i thought id never need Spanish.
Me:I know a few words in latin
Teacher:That would be?
Me:exorcisamus te omnis immundus spiritus and christo
Teacher:What about hello?
Me:What no i dont know how
Teacher:Of course youd know how to exorcise a demon but not how to say hello

curvellas:

tumblr made me a much more tolerant and less judgmental person like my cousin be like “omg look at that bitch eyebrows she drew them damn near in her hairline” and i’m like shrug maybe the bitch wanted to have eyebrows in her hairline you don’t know shit about her life.

(via orgasmic-humor)

flutterjedi:

algrenion:

so i got a text from my dad that reads

“I have decided to keep a diary and draw a score for every poop I take for the rest of my life. When I die, I will leave all these diaries to your brother in my will and he will frantically search to the answer for what these scores represent and he will never know that they are actually my poop counters. Don’t tell your brother. This is top secret.”

I love that man.

(via damn-funny)

r-colored:

there’s playing piano, which is difficult

there’s ragtime piano, which involves difficult techniques and at its best involves lots of improvisations on a theme

then there’s stride piano, which involves no sheet music and is fully improvised along a basic melody and chord progression

then there’s stride piano duet, which involves no sheet music and is fully improvised along a basic melody and progression AND YOU CAN’T SEE YOUR DUET PARTNER’S BODY LANGUAGE

basically this is magic

(via unoriginalchick)

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